Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:32

 

Over the past few weeks, the theme of forgiveness appeared in several separate places in my life.  My daily journal had a prompt to think about forgiveness, a counseling session with a member revolved around forgiveness, and forgiveness was one of the themes of the day while at Camp Mount Luther.  We may not think about forgiveness often, but it is a daily part of our lives whether we are offering it or withholding it.

Forgiveness is a gift we’ve been freely given by God through Christ Jesus.  This forgiveness that we have been offered through Christ Jesus also gives us the ability to forgive as we have been forgiven.  This gift of forgiveness restores what has been broken and allows healing to take place. 

When I talk to people about forgiveness, the one thing they are always surprised about is that forgiveness does not include forgetting or pretending the hurt did not happen.  What it does include is not allowing the hurt, anger, despair, or resentment to control us any longer.  Forgiveness releases the pain that was created by the hurt.  Without forgiveness, the hurt lingers within you and resurfaces over and over again, bringing along other emotions that impact our state of wellbeing.  It can sometimes impact our relationships with others and be a barrier to living an abundant life.  All of this keeps us living in the past and prevents us from moving forward in life. 

Sometimes forgiveness comes with reconciliation of relationships.  Forgiveness has the power to restore two or more people, not just one.  When this happens, the relationship between them may have changed, but it can continue to move forward.  However, there are times when the other is physically, emotionally, or mentally unavailable to receive or offer forgiveness.  When this is the case, often forgiveness can be satisfied through letter writing, talking it out, or returning to the place of the hurt. This often provides the healing needed without the participation of the other because it allows us to let go of the hurt. 

May we acknowledge God in all our ways and allow God alone to direct our paths, (Proverbs 3:6, paraphrased).    

Another aspect of forgiveness is that we can forgive the person who hurt us without placing ourselves in a position that allows us to be harmed again.  There are times when restoration of the former relationship is just not in the best interest of our wellbeing.  But the forgiveness part is needed for the healing to take place.  Instead, we allow forgiveness, healing, and then set boundaries around the relationship that safeguards us from repetitive harm.  

Forgiveness is not easy, but it is an important part of who God calls us to be so that we can live a life of wholeness and abundance from a place of love and peace.  And remember, it is ok to need help working through forgiveness, whether that is forgiveness for others or ourselves!  

Jesus said, “Forgive, and you will be forgiven” (Luke 6:37).  May we all live into the forgiveness of our own wrongs and forgive others as we have been forgiven.

 

Blessings, 

Pastor Karla